Challenge #20--The Last Day

If it was my last day to play, what would I do?

It occurs to me that Bioware made a blunder in the game interface.  When you log out of SWTOR, you see this message:

Every time players log off for the night, they have to answer "Yes" to the question "Are you sure you want to quit the game", as opposed to, say "exiting" the game.  Psychologically, it reinforces the idea of quitting, each and every time they play, until one day, in frustration, they might see this message and say within themselves, "You know what?  I really do want to quit the game."

At least, that is the thought which has been crossing my head for some time now.  Truthfully, my last day will probably be soon, and will probably happen without my knowing it.  My pre-paid subscription is active through the end of July, but I doubt I'll last that long.  I've already cancelled the billing.

You see, I've been finding it more and more difficult to feel motivated to log on.  What kept me playing WoW so long in the face of Cataclysm, which I did not enjoy, was my guild--the history I had with them, the friendships which had been formed, and the responsibility I had accepted as an officer.  I have none of that in SWTOR.  As I was playing with my husband, who has pretty much stopped playing completely, I have made no real friendships (aside from some on the dark side which carry over from my WoW history), there is no history, and I have not joined a team, let alone tried to find opportunities for responsibility.  (Real life has been too busy to be able to commit to such things, these days.  Face it, homeschooling an autistic high schooler, half-homeschooling another high schooler, full-time job, kid activities . . . it all adds up to a rather busy and sometimes unpredictable schedule.)

When I cancelled my billing, the friendly suggestion which popped up was to try playing on the opposite faction.  Unfortunately, the Empire side of the story just doesn't mesh with my personality.  I've tried.  I really have.  But I just don't feel comfortable with many of the missions or choices facing my character on that side.  There's a big difference between, "Get these guys out of the way to protect innocent people," and "Get these guys out of the way because they are impeding the progress of our glorious empire."  This makes it difficult to even play on the same side as the few friends I have in the game.  I know there are those who would say, "It's just a game!" Yes, but my avatar in-game is an extension of myself, and it's too hard to keep playing while avoiding all the things for which I would have to close my eyes and ignore the pit of my stomach to get through successfully.

But if I had a specific day which I decided would be my last, I would probably follow a small ritual . . .

I would donate all my biochem materials to my guild bank, as well as most of my credits, leaving just enough that if I changed my mind, I wouldn't have completely impoverished myself.  (Hey, it's what I did in WoW . . . except my guild bank didn't need my gold, so I gave it to an altaholic friend.)

Then my Consular would run around her ship, giving her companions hugs.  (Too bad she can't just summon Holiday, but I'm sure Theran would pass on her good wishes.)  She would finally end up in her room, where she would meditate as the screen fades to black (figuratively speaking.)

And that would pretty much be that.